Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Hi, my name is Meditation. You may remember me from such techniques as "Breathing Your Way to a Million Dollars" and "Finding Yourself by Screaming a Lot"
As my recent research has told me, meditation is key when it comes to preventing cancer recurrence. This has been suggested to me a number of times, as I am what they call a "nervous" individual. I maintain that I burn more calories by shaking in fear, but whatever.
For the first time, I am willing to entertain the idea in a real way, after dismissing it for my asthma and for my anxiety. But the question is: how do you clear your mind? I know this is a big part of meditation and it is just incredibly hard for me. It'll go like this for me:
"Clear your mind, clear your mind, did I lock the door?, clear your mind, did I take my medicine?, wait, why am I clearing my mind? Oh yeah, cancer. Clearing the mind...wait, is that a new freckle on my hand? Is that cancer? Dear lord, what if they all are? What if I have constellations of cancerous freckles all over me which spell out my certain doom?! I'm going to die I'm going to die, agghhhh!"
Yeah, not so helpful. So, is there like a pill I can take to clear my mind (other than street drugs)? With my anxiety pills, my asthma meds, my cancer pills and my steak-tastes-better pills, I'm sure there's one for meditation. Perhaps "Clearonex," "Tabularasion" or "Stupomax?"
Ahh, I guess I'm on enough meds. But if anyone has any meditation pointers, I'm open...