All in all, radiation seems like a much more chill treatment than chemo. I did a walk-through today and, so far, it looks like they will be treating me better than if I went to a tanning salon, so...plus! In fact, I'm going in to get my special boobie-mold and laser tattoos so that they can zap me right each time. That's right, Dad, another tattoo! HAH!
Well, I guess one could consider them tattoos. It will most likely look like someone accidentally poked me in the boob several times with a blue ballpoint pen. I remain confident, however, that I can still get a "heyyy, nice tat!" or two.
They even have a pretty stained glass piece of art over each radiation table made to look like the Monterey coastline so you have something nice to look at while you're all James Bond getting lasered. How thoughtful!
Of course, being Kate, I have not failed to look up and discuss the possible negative side effects. BUT, I have found a way to put a positive spin on each one so check it out:
FATIGUE--My doctor tells me this will almost certainly happen so I should plan on having a rest or nap-time during the day. Um, adult nap-time--doctor's orders?! Awesome! Also, I can now personally justify buying another cute pair of jammies from Target as my time spent in pj's will now likely rise to 80% of the day. Who doesn't love jammies? Evil people, I tells ya! Like Nazis. Well, maybe Nazis would wear, like, swastika pajamas...but I digress.
OTHER CANCER--That's right, like most treatments, there is a slight chance you will get cancer in the other breast somewhere down the line. HOWEVER, my doctor let me know that my radiated boob will be firmer throughout life while my other will succumb to gravity. But if I need more radiation, that other boob will firm right up and POW! I have the breasts of a 25 year-old when I'm sixty. Haaahh-hah!
BEING RADIOACTIVE--Alright, that one is just my nerves talking but I kind of imagine myself walking around with a healthy green glow like Mr. Burns. So I'm thinking that if I end up being biohazardous, that will give me the excuse I've always needed to wear that Devo radiation suit
Fashionable, right? I bet I could even get it in pink.
Alright, so there's my Intro to Radiation. I'll likely be updating you all on this strange process as it goes on so get ready to see me in that Devo suit!