Friday, June 3, 2011

I'm here, I hate chatting, get used to it!

From olddollpatterns.com

I can't take it anymore, guys.  I can't sit here and pretend that I like chatting anymore.  Don't get me wrong--I like TALKING.  Like, about stuff.  With friends and loved ones.
But I estimate that I waste approximately 40 minutes each day being held hostage in chatting scenarios.  Scenarios where the sheer volume of chatting could be limited to simply saying hello but turns into:
Me: "Hi!"
Them: "Hi, how are you?"
Me: "Fine, thanks, and you?"
Them: "Well, you know I'm okay except for this [problem].  [Problem problem problem!]"
Me: "That sucks."
Them: "Well, you have no idea!  [Problem problem problem.]  But you know what they say...[insert cliche about life here].  So I'm doing fine.
Me: "Well, that's great.  See you la..."
Them: "Because, you see [repeats problem a third time] is not a good situation to be in.  Have you ever had [problem]?"
Me: "No" (backing away in the hopes that this will signal my need to get back to what I was doing)
Them: "Well, I hope you never have [problem problem problem!] because let me tell you, it's not fun.
Me: "Okay"
Them: "It's not fun."
Me: "I got it."
Them: "You know, when you [prob--"
Me: "I'm sorry, I have to go; my brain has exploded and my ear canals are quickly filling with blood."
Them: "Oh, okay.  Well, let's chat later!"
And then like 8 minutes have passed!
I don't know about the rest of people out there, but I like to do my WORK at WORK and my CHATTING drunk at bars so that I can keep up the CHATTING!  
Am I alone in thinking that economy of words is a lost art?  Chatting is making me exhausted!  And I can't be exhausted because I have CANCER [see previous post #2].
Awwwkkkwarrrrd.

3 comments:

  1. As always, The Far Side provides the solution for us...

    http://rlv.zcache.com/gary_larson_poster-p228855196055517043t5ta_400.jpg

    Thank you, Gary Larson, thank you.

    ReplyDelete
  2. http://www.digitalgrapefruit.com/temp/farside.jpg

    Better copy.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I think chatting is a skill that I hopefully will never have time to get really good at...

    ReplyDelete