Sunday, July 10, 2011

The Honeymoon Blogs Volume 1: Kauai Bitchessssssss!

Aloha from Kauai! Hopefully these posts won't have anything to do with cancer at all (although I'm happy to report that I am healing fast!) but just an account of honeymoon awesomness.
We're now in Day 3 of our trip and we've already visited Lihue, looked around our local Poipu, hiked around Waimea Canyon,  explored some caves and taken a dip in the ocean!  
Our location is excellent for many reasons.  First of all, everyone and their mother seems to be staying on the North Shore this summer so our South Shore condo feels accessible yet private.  The native species here (especially the trees) are unbelievable.  Last night I was tired and a little drunk and I swore I saw one of the forest spirits from Princess Mononoke.  It rattled and everything!  Well I guess that's what a day in the sun and a few Mai Tais will do to you.
Our trip to Waimea Canyon was awesome.  Allegedy, Mark Twain called it the "Grand Canyon of the Pacific" but I'm pretty sure he never visited Kauai so who knows.  It seems to be the tagline around here, though.  I get it.  I mean, if people want to say that Mark Twain says I'm the Aphrodite of Pacific Grove I'm okay with that.  That said, however, the Waimea Canyon certainly gives the Grand Canyon a run for its money.  We hiked a bit, but I fear I held my more adventurous husband back a bit when we started on a trail alongside the Napali coast and I had to turn back.  I couldn't help it, though.  I know how lame I am, and just how many flavors of injury I would have endured on the beautiful but uneven trail.
One of the best things so far to come our of our trip has been an incredible game Ben invented called "WAVE IN THE FACE!"  We briefly considered calling it "WAVE IN THE NUTS!" but with my lack of nuts, we stuck to the former.  Basically, the game is sitting in the tidal break zone on the beach and waiting for waves to hit you in the face.  It was particularly amusing for Ben, who likes the strange "drowning in a burrito" noises I make while falling down.  hey, if you're going to be clumsy, make it a good show for people, right?
Well, that's all for now.  I will update soon.  Aloha!

Saturday, July 2, 2011


Boob Cake!
This glorious boob-shaped cake, made for me by Susan Gilbert Hardy, was a red velvety ray of sunshine in my days after radiation.  As the doctor warned me, I have experienced a bit of a "let down" after treatment.  They say this is because some people no longer feel they are proactively fighting the disease and are in more of a "wait and see" phase.  I've got my cancer-blocking pills so I think I'll be fine but it was a little strange letting go of something (however difficult, pain-causing and inconvenient) that had become a big part of my life.
Fortunately, that temporary hole in my heart was filled.  By boob cake.  Here's hoping my ennui will be satiated for good by the cake, as well as the 3+ lbs. of pineapple I've consumed in the last few days.  If not, Susan may need to make me another cake.  I feel a sniffle coming on ;)

Ode to a Shaved Armpit

The long weeks pass and my heart fills up with joy
as I remember what this deadline brings to me
I lift my arm up to the sky; my razor I deploy
No longer will they see my dreadlock'd pit and flee!
 'Tis been months; I'm tired and burned
I endure yet I cannot ignore this blight
One armpit smooth, the other one hirsute
Throughout this madness I have yearned
for my poor axilla to be spared this plight
Time to give this nappy hair the boot!